Dad and I are what people here term "corny" at times in our humor. I used to ask my dad "how are you feeling?" when I was a kid, and his pat answer would be "with my fingers". Oh yes, corny. We send emails back and forth with different levels of humor to them, and enjoy the laughs. I received this today. Enjoy!
1. A bicycle can't stand
alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow;
fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. A chicken crossing the road:
poultry in motion.
6. When a clock is hungry it goes back
four seconds.
7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery
machine was fully recovered.
8. You are stuck with your debt
if you can't budge it.
9. He broke into song because he
couldn't find the key.
10. A calendar's days are numbered.
11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
12. He had a photographic memory
which was never developed.
13. The short fortune-teller who escaped
from prison: a small medium at large.
14. Those who get too big for their
britches will be exposed in the end.
15. When you've seen one shopping
centre you've seen a mall.
16. If you jump off a Paris bridge,
you are in Seine.
17. When she saw her first strands of grey
hair, she thought she'd dye.
18. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
20. Marathon runners with bad shoes
suffer the agony of de feet.
21. The roundest knight at king Arthur's
round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan
island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
23. She was only a whisky maker,
but he loved her still.
24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from
algebra class because it was a weapon
of math disruption.
25. No matter how much you push the envelope,
it'll still be stationery.
26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the
road and was cited for littering.
27. Two silk worms had a race.
They ended up in a tie.
28. A hole has been found in the nudist
camp wall.. The police are looking into it.
29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
30. I wondered why the baseball
kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab
centre said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a
nurse said, 'No change yet.'
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